Monday, October 30, 2006

Coretan Syawal

Today is the seventh day of Syawal and the first day I am back at work. Checked my inbox for one week's old of incoming e-mails and let out a sigh of relief that there was no pressing matters that requires my immediate attention or action. Decided to reply some of the e-mails anyway and get some outstanding matters out of the way as I will be busy with the final details of the company's first Annual Dinner & Dance which is just 2 weeks away. The committee members have decided to do a brief performance as part of the opening gambit that night and we have yet to practise together-gether. Luckily the performers we engaged have agreed to help us out with the dance steps at their dance studio.

Earlier in the morning on the way to work, dropped by at Liza's place to give goodbye hugs and kisses to my niece and nephew before they leave for KK that morning. Asheen was in her usual chirpy mood whilst Noah was grumpy having woken from his sleep very early in the morning. Managed to get to work on time despite of the usual heavy morning traffic.

Reminiscing the last few days of Ramadhan in preparation of Syawal, I started baking Raya biscuits the morning I arrived in TI and Kema took over the kitchen in the afternoon. Started with Badam Potong (2nd pic from left) followed by Mata Kucing (3rd pic from left) and Mandarin cupcake (1st pic from left) whilst Kema made the rest, Coklat Gajus (3rd pic from left) and cornflakes (5th pic from left). Tried to bake marble cake but for a certain reason, it did not turn out the way it was supposed to be. Liza is the one who is good at baking cakes but this year for a reason oblivious to any of us, dia mogok. Luckily there was another cake given to Mak by her friend and a cheese cake from one of Kema's clients.


First day of Syawal was the same as the previous years. The day started with sembahyang Raya at the mosque, asking forgiveness from Mak and my other siblings and headed to onyang's house which is about 15 minutes drive to meet with the rest of my relatives. That night, everybody adjourned to my house and we had belated birthday party for Asheen and Noah. Asheen's birthday was in September whilst Noah's in October. I only went to the cemetry to visit Abah, Onyang, Tok and Tok Alang's graves on the 3rd of Syawal as it was packed with people with cars parked alongside the road on the first 2 days of Syawal.

Started going to my relatives' open house on the Saturday I came back to KL and on Oct 31, I will be holding a joined open house with Liza at Armanee, Damansara Damai. Other than my relatives, I invited a few close friends and bloggers who are in town. Look forward to meeting friends I had not seen for quite sometime except via e-mail or phone and also fellow bloggers I am meeting for the first time.


Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Menjelang Syawal

Dengan Syawal yang bakal menjelang, persiapan raya juga semakin rancak. Dua minggu lalu aku sudah mengambil baju kurung pesak dari songket Pakistan yang ditempah di sebuah kedai di Semuahouse. Aku amat berpuashati dengan hasilnya dan aku turut membeli sepasang brooch untuk dipadankan dengan baju tersebut. Dua pasang lagi kebaya Kema tolong collect dari tailor hari ini sebab aku memang takkan sempat ke kedai itu selepas waktu kerja. Pada hari minggu yang lalu, aku, Kema dan Mak ke Parkson di Putra Place untuk membeli pakaian kasual dan kasut raya untuk anak-anak buah aku. Si Asheen insists baju dia mesti warna pink dan kasut kena ada heels. Noah pulak is just too young to have fashion sense, till then, he'll just wear whatever we buy for him. Hari ini pula, Bobo (nickname for my twin sister) called minta belikan baju kurung untuk Asheen. Baju kurung yang ditempah telah disalah potong oleh tailor di KK. According to Bobo, lehernya terlalu besar hingga belahnya sampai ke perut Asheen. Tergelak bila aku bayangkan rupa Asheen pakai baju tu.

Last weekend juga, bahan-bahan untuk membuat biskut raya dibeli. Biskut raya yang wajib sudah semestinya Coklat Gajus, Badam Potong, Mata Kucing dan Cornflakes. Masa tu mulalah buka resipi yang mak tulis dalam diari. Diari berisi resipi tu dah macam legasi dalam keluarga sebab dah bertahun-tahun dalam simpanan dan dirujuk setiap kali menjelang raya. Sebagai tambahan, aku bercadang membuat Tart Nanas, Mandarin Cupcake dan Marble Cake. Ambitious betul tapi tak tahulah larat ke tidak. Mahu bersengkang mata sampai dua tiga pagi tunggu kuih raya masak dalam oven macam tahun-tahun yang lalu.

Insyaallah, selepas sahur Sabtu ni, aku akan bertolak dengan Kema ke TI. Liza dan Shahrul akan bertolak keesokan harinya selepas mengambil Bobo dan family at the airport that morning. Semoga semuanya selamat sampai ke kampung untuk beraya bersama.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Sick Day

Yesterday morning, I woke up with a slight headache. Went straight to the shower, washed my hair hoping that my headache will subsequently go away. Whilst driving to work it got worse and by the time I reached the office, I felt giddy, lethargic and felt like vomitting. The air-condition at the office worsened my condition as it was too cold and I did not bring my shawl or jacket along. Tried to bury myself into work just to forget the throbbing pain but by 11.oo a.m. it was unbearable. Decided to go the clinic at the ground floor of my office building and got to see the doctor after waited for almost half an hour. The doc was male though I hoped to see the female doctor. Told the doctor my situation but I didn't see this coming..

Doc : Are you pregnant?

Me : Err...no (My eyebrow raised)

Doc : It's just that normally if you are pregnant, you'll feel this nausea, vomitting etc in the morning.

Me : Ooo..ok

Doc : Have you had any children?

Me : No

Doc : Are you married (Ahh...finally the question he should've asked in the first place)

He checked my BP and it was slightly low than normal. Checked my eyes, tounge, the palm of my hands and pressed the tips of my fingers. His conclusion was I am not anaemic but dehydrated. I was given Ponston, T.Moloxon and Oral Rehydration Salt for dehydration and to help increase my BP.

I still continued with my fasting and after seeing the doctor I felt much better even without taking any the medicine prescribed. I think it's a psychology thing. Receiving a call from a close friend during my UiTM days made me felt much much better. Her usual chatty happy go lucky ways made me forget the pain for a while. After breaking fast, took my medicine and went to bed after Maghrib prayer. Missed Tarawih that night....

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Dia Dalam Kenangan & Doa

Sejak bermulanya Ramadhan 10 hari yang lalu, ingatanku kepada lelaki ini semakin kuat, sayu rasa hati terutamanya bila mengingatkan saat-saat manis bersama dia. Dan sejak 12 tahun yang lalu, pada pagi Raya, aku akan menziarahi dia berbekalkan air Yassin dan segenggam daun pandan. Di situlah tempat bersemadinya seorang lelaki yang pernah menjadi sebahagian hidupku dan takkan ada gantinya.

Masih segar dalam ingatan peristiwa 12 tahun yang lalu seperti baru semalam berlaku. Tengahari itu, Abah pulang dipapah oleh Mak dan Tok Mat selepas 'collapsed' di sekolah. Percakapan Abah kurang jelas dan pandangan Abah kabur. Cuma mampu menggeleng kepala bila disebut mahu dibawa ke hospital.

Ketika melihat Abah terbaring tidak bermaya dalam ICU dengan tiub, wayar dan monitor ECG disambungkan ke badannya, aku tak dapat menahan airmata daripada tumpah, laju mengalir seperti empangan air yang pecah. Aku genggam erat tangan Abah, tak sangka Abah yang selama ini memang aktif, sekarang ni terlantar tidak berdaya dengan sekelip mata. Aku lihat airmata Abah mengalir, aku kesat airmata Abah dan aku usap kepala Abah. Aku bisik ke telinga Abah memberitahu Abah aku ada disisinya. Pada awal pagi Januari 4, 1995, aku terima panggilan telefon dari hospital yang Abah sudah tiada lagi. Mak semasa itu dalam perjalalan ke hospital untuk memulakan giliran menjaga Abah yang telah dipindahkan ke wad biasa selepas seminggu di dalam ICU.

Apabila jenazah Abah tiba di rumah, aku mampu mengawal emosi, tiada ratapan, raungan cuma tangisan kecil keluar dariku. Aku tatap wajah Abah, ada airmata bertakung di kelopak matanya yang aku kesat perlahan-lahan dengan tisu. Bila adik-beradikku sampai, tiada kata-kata antara kami, hanya pelukan erat dan tangisan yang menggambarkan perasaan masing-masing. Mak, kulihat tidak mengalirkan setitis pun airmata. Aku tahu Mak kesedihan tapi mungkin dia mahu kelihatan tabah untuk anak-anaknya.
Sebelum wajah Abah ditutup dengan kain kapan, aku kesat airmataku dan aku cium dahi Abah, terasa sejuk dingin. In spite of all this happening, aku masih berasa seperti semua yang berlaku pada hari itu seperti mimpi even semasa aku mengiringi jenazah Abah di dalam kenderaan jenazah ke masjid dan ke tanah perkuburan. Hanya selepas segala-galanya selesai dengan lancar, pada malam itu aku masuk ke bilikku, aku macam baru tersedar yang Abah dah pergi selama-lamanya. Di dalam kegelapan, aku menangis sepuas-puasnya. Malam itu, aku keseorangan tidur di atas katil di mana jenazah Abah dibaringkan dan kain pelekat Abah menjadi selimutku.

Beberapa tahun selepas itu, Mak beritahu yang Abah pernah berkata kepada Mak yang kalau dia pergi dulu, dia nak Mak pastikan semua kami adik-beradik sampai ke menara gading. Mak bersyukur yang amanat Abah sudah dia tunaikan. Cuma aku terkilan Abah tak sempat melihat kami menerima ijazah dan untuk aku membalas pengorbanan Abah selama ini. Tapi, aku sentiasa berpegang, apa yang berlaku ada hikmahnya.

Al-Fathihah untuk Abah...................